Crazy Dreams

Jan 25 2014
Celebrate. The little victories. Those crazy dreams you’ve never dared to speak, but deep down in some locked up little girl part of your soul still choose to believe.

I have this notebook (pictured above). It is small and traveled a long way to get to my hands, a thoughtful gift from a friend who knows me well. Inside this notebook, sits lists of life reminders and my craziest goals and dreams. Those ones that are drawn up by imagination in daydream hazes, that fill up my heart beyond hope and the occupy brain’s fantasy pages. The thoughts about learning to let those crazy dreams exist, to give them consideration, came spring of senior year. From the gems tucked into the book A Million Little Ways, I found this section:
“With your feet planted firmly in the soil of home, allow yourself the freedom to dream a little… You may not be sure what will come of the dream. But might you be willing to develop a small amount of reverence for the way God speaks to you through your desires? What is your moon, your airplane, your boy-wizard book? What is your brave lyric, your odd first chapter, your new business motto? What is your crazy idea? Maybe you should chase it…
     Maybe you are drawn to the people and culture of another country but you can’t explain why. You write for free and it should feel like a waste, except that it doesn’t and you don’t have an answer for it. You stare at your living room and imagine ways to make it better, and then you do and it changes your mood… sometimes, as He moves in us and around us in the moments of our day, He nudges us in whispers and desire toward something He has for us later… Your childhood dream delights God. I don’t say that because every secret dream will come true. But having a dream is evidence of a person who is fully alive. Having a dream is a reflection of the image of God.” ~Emily P. Freeman A Million Little Ways
Some of the crazy ideas and aspirations I’ve had over the years:
  • Be an Olympic gymnast : then that turned into be a college gymnast, then turned into a lesson on doing something for the joy of it and learning how to pursue what I really loved
  • An author : I wrote my first autobiography at 10 and started multiple books, put the pen down, only to end up spending all my time songwriting and creative writing later on (as is evidenced by this blog 🙂 )
  • Form a band, record music, tour, play an open mic night: currently all that means is  I still feel the calling to create songs, to write like there’s no tomorrow (interestingly, this is the thing I started pursuing after gymnastics was over), and to trust that God will use the words and stories in the ways He designed them to, though I currently don’t know what that is
  • Be involved at a children’s hospital (I’ve wanted to volunteer at one for a long time) : that door opened this year, and it is a crazy evidence of God’s faithfulness
  • Work in child development, as I’ve always loved kids and wrote research papers in high school about the importance of play and related things: studying Social Work major is putting me on this path
  • Pursue photography, something I loved even though I felt very inadequate compared to other people: I acquired a nice camera, doors opened to take a photography class, and have continued to work on it and enjoy it for the sheer sake of creating
  • Start a blog: evidenced here 🙂
  • Travel to Hawaii, New Zealand, etc. : still just distant plans
  • Go on a missions trip: still waiting on the timing, but God is opening up strong possibilities
  • A desire to impact other souls, including thoughts about bringing light to celebrities (prompted by recent stories such as Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Williams, etc.) : while I don’t honestly see that one going anywhere, at least at this moment, it has opened my eyes to the brokenness all around us, to organizations such as To Write Love on Her Arms, and a desire to show everyone that I come into contact with that their stories are important

While this list is not comprehensive, it is crazy for me to look back at how God works. Some of these crazy pieces of dreams and designs that I hoped, ways my creativity came out, places I never expected to see have come into my story. Not all of them have been fulfilled, and most of them have not been in the ways that I have expected. But it has been beyond beautiful and wonderful.

So friends, what if we let ourselves admit our wildest dreams? What if we noticed the seemingly random things that stand out and to the desires they signify? What if we allowed ourselves to imagine, to surrender to wherever they take us, and watch how He turns them into art and chooses or does not choose to bring them to what we envisioned in our lives? Keep on dreaming, it is evidence of being alive and reflecting the creative One.

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