|| For we are His workmanship (poem, artwork) created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 // Even the mess is turned into A R T and my soul needs that reminder. Every part of our S T O RY has purpose. ||
This world is a mess. My own story is a mess. The headlines right now are ripping our illusions of this picture perfect world we’ve tried to construct and design. We’ve tried to manipulate the systems to mask the symptoms and hide the signs of what is happening.
The truth is that this world is horribly broken.
We are horribly broken.
And we desperately need the light.
Our souls need reminders that there is hope and purpose in this spiraling chaos.
Lately, my heart has been stretched beyond it’s limitations and I haven’t known how to handle it. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, my own inadequacies, the weight of the ways I am not fully capable has been landing heavyily on me.
As a camp counselor, literally in every area that I could face my own insecurities, something has arisen. I worry about my story not being enough, my personality not connecting well enough, my inability at sports, my fears when it comes to adventure and height things, my struggles at getting everything together and staying organized, my worries over not having the right verses at the right time, the haunting feeling of hoping I know the right words to say at the right time.
While I’ve been battling these at every turn, I have had so many constant reminders. Cards about how the story of God’s grace and redemption in my life is specifically used by Him to uniquely reach others. About the importance of being present in everything I do. About living moment to moment. About His transcending peace and guidance being there in each second, working through my failures and weaknesses, giving strength and grace. Reminders that God intentionally will use me, and all I can do is challenge, not change. That this mess is being turned into art constantly.
Yesterday, I found out about the passing of Christina Grimmie. It tore at something in me, pulling apart a thread of a picture we’ve created. Sharply drawing attention to the fact that the light and dark are in a dance, contrasting each other, painting the world in very different shades, showing what is really and what will fade in the end. She had a God-given talent that she used to inspire others. Her voice brought light into the cracks, and her love for God was evident.
Camp has a funny way of making things clear. The outside news that we once thought so important, like celebrity updates and Instagram posts lose meaning. Instead, we throw everything into the life right before us, living adventure by adventure, making the most of our surroundings. To be a part of seeing other’s meds turned to art and seeing hope become ever more real, that is a gift. To realize that in the light of forever, THESE moments are what matter, that is invaluable.
So as I wrestle with the brokenness that resonates inside, the way it penetrates everything, I find hope. I know that there is a forever. There is something worth living for and we get to watch as it makes the colors inside come alive. That in the mess and swirling questions, there is a constant, and all that fades is giving way to that new, more true life, that forever.