P.S. You’re enough.
Those words hang heavy over the new year. Sparkling with magic, with hope, with determination. Dripping with promise and the ideas rooted deep down that I’ve always wanted to believe were true. A genuine invitation, soft and welcoming. Tears brimmed over as the heart that seconds before had been frantically dreaming up new goals and resolutions set aside the lists and found something that slowed the rhythm down.
And so on January 1 those words were added into the first page of a fresh journal.
I’ve spent the past almost twelve months chasing these words down, circling around them, retattoing them on the walls of my soul. It’s like the best of wishes and sentiments expressed. And yet, the heart-filling strength of them fades sooner rather than later.
This has been a year of discovery, of revelation of what my heart loves as different shades wash over the days. And like confetti bursts when you least expect it, traces of the dreams I was designed for have been sparkling with hope over the weight of life.
And yet, I still doubt. The polarizing fear tangled up with the dazzling hope is overwhelming. And the steady nature of the daily routine has eclipsed the bright burts of bigger things, waiting patiently on the horizon. Exhaustion and defeat. Lists upon lists and pen in hand trying to continually craft and build what this means.
What if I dared? But it’s too much to expose paper thin skin to these wild dreams exploding outside of my chest. How to live in the present while growing towards the future and what will endure beyond?
Trying to learn how to listen to the dreamer that’s always been a presence inside my head, while still building upon the growing up years. Trying to hold on to the deep essentials while finding the art in the center of the soul. What is my creative direction, my voice. What have I been given to give purposefully and strongly away?
Because I am not doing this for my own living, though it makes it beautifully richer, but ultimately to make other stories better, to contribute to the world I live in 24 hours of spinning magic and madness every moment.
So friends, don’t refuse the dream. Don’t refuse to believe there is something worth sharing there. That you can spend your life going towards those hopes you hold tightly to. And you dance learning to step closer while loosening grip. It’s complicated but beautiful to do so.
I’ve long been too scared to acknowledge and chase down those dreams. That I am not capable of these things, that they are far too massive to even achieve. And so daily, I’ve been escaping from the failed ideas and hiding behind other things. However, this year, I’ve gotten into the practice of writing them down, of holding to them. My hands have ventured to write out on blank pages the concepts and maps to get there, holding on while open to possibility, change, the One who is writing this story.
I recently read an article in Darling Magazine that talked about how people who are content still being busy at work creating. “It’s possible to be content while also embracing change and seeking betterment. In fact, people who are content work hard to achieve their goals and take an active approach to creating their desired lives.”
So as we head into this Christmas season, this Advent time of waiting, this almost-but-not-yet the sparkling new year, will you join me? Will you write down those dreams, dare to make a vision for your wildest and most creative hopes? Because the world needs more of us doing what makes us and our stories most alive.